I am also on a journey of self-disclosure. In the past, I have been cautious and reluctant to disclose battling same-sex attraction. But in my role as a coach to men who are same-sex attracted, self-disclosure is part of the new territory. God has called me and it is time for boldness.
My coach, Stuart, led me to make the connection between manliness and self-disclosure during our last time together. This was really the first I had considered the idea and it has given me a lot to chew on.
A friend and I were talking not long ago about how we are standing on the shoulders of those who have gone on before us. As I write this, there is a Bible, written in English on t
he table to my right. A few centuries back an order of the Pope dictated that all Bibles be in Latin, preventing non-Latin speakers from reading and understanding the truths of God for themselves. One man, William Tyndale, the British reformer, defied the order. He translated the Bible into English, then published and distributed it. For this he was imprisoned and burned at the stake. But because of him and others like him, I am able to read the word of God and be changed by it.I also stand on the shoulders of many who have spoken of "change" for men and women with same-sex attraction. What would have been the course of my life, were it not for the network of Exodus ministries that sprouted 30 years ago? More recently, the impact of People Can Change has led me into a greater experience of manhood to the extent that the sexual escapes from the past are now unthinkable.
The founders of Exodus and People Can Change publicly disclosed their struggles. I don't know what this has meant to them. But I do know that I have a freedom from sin, a masculine identity and a satisfying life that I wouldn't have were it not for their disclosure.
This is masculine strength and courage, is it not? Manliness is setting aside the desire for self-preservation and acting for the greater good. May God grant us manly strength so that the ones to come may stand on our shoulders.
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 1 John 3:16
4 comments:
It is hard to be truly vulnerable, and yet so necessary. May God bring you many lives of men who can benefit from your ministry!
Very true, TCM. It seems that this is a bigger deal to us than it is to others. I was talking with a friend about this and his response was, "Do you think anyone would really care?" In other words, it isn't that big of a deal. I'm trying to remember that as I disclose the struggle.
What isn't that big of a deal to disclose? SSA?
There is still a lot of homophobia around, a lot more than people care to admit. SSA may be an even bigger deal with serious negative ramifications (job-loss, even death-penalty) in other countries. We don't want to be fearful, but I imagine discernment would be important, esp. with regard to different contexts. Ultimately, knowing and following God's calling in one's life is key.
If you are talking about general disclosure about emotional things as manly, then that's another thing altogether. But I think you meant SSA.
Sorry if I'm making it more confusing than it needs to be.
Point well taken, TCM. There is a need for discernment when we consider disclosing SSA. Yes, there might be harsh consequences. But many of us tend to be too cautious. As a Christian, I want to exalt the Lord by giving testimony to what He has done in my life. "You are the light of the world", Jesus says.
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