I've just returned from my first court appearance. As court appearances go, this was as straight-forward and simple as they come. I was a character witness and wasn't on the stand for long. I wasn't cross-examined.
While on the witness stand, I was struck by the opposing attorney. Everyone in the room was looking at me except for him. He was looking down and away the entire time. Was I a boring witness? Maybe. But I'm also wondering if it might have been intentional. If so, what was he attempting to withhold from me by looking away?
So it has me thinking about the good that can result from eye contact. When I look someone in the eye, I show respect. In a very small way, I show concern. A look in the eye -- perhaps for one on a witness stand -- can bring encouragement and strength.
Maybe lawyers learn this somewhere along the way.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8
Friday, March 20, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
More About Coaching
Saturdays now mean getting out of the house before 8:00 for my swimming lesson. These have been very profitable half hours. As hoped, my front crawl has improved, but I have come a long way on the back stroke. I've even discovered how easy it is to tread water.
I am also gaining insight into the process of coaching. Usually, I am the coach. But in the pool, I am coached by Tom. On Sunday afternoons, I am coached by Grant. While taking in as much as I can from these men regarding technique, the coaching part of me is observing the process. What about the relationship is effective in my learning to be a better swimmer?
Today, for example, we worked on the "flip turn". The flip turn is a somersault in the water at the wall to quickly reverse direction. I've worked on it over and over but not mastered it. I've been close to giving up, but this morning I nearly broke through and here is how it happened.
Over several sessions, the coach has worked with me and I just wasn't getting it. Try coordinating your legs, chin, shoulders, and arms, while exhaling. But today the coach -- out of wisdom or exasperation, I am not sure which -- changed course and had me work on doing a "hand-stand" instead. That, with some practice, I could do! It built confidence to master a new task. And, I am half-way to the flip!
In the pool, I don't hesitate to ask to set the agenda. There are times when I am wanting to work on a certain stroke or discipline. I've never had the coach say "no". I'll interview him about it, ask him to demonstrate, and then suggest that he watch me and see what I'm doing wrong. At the end of class, sometimes I'll ask him to give me an assignment.
But as the coachee, I don't want to always lead. My coach, by virtue of his training and expertise, knows more. I need to accept and weigh his counsel. I want to make sure that he knows that his counsel and feedback is always welcome. Though he knows and I know that every decision is still mine.
Another valuable element of the coaching relationship is positive feedback. When the coach is impressed with something -- and I know that he means it -- it is immensely encouraging.
I also benefit most when I know that the coach enjoys the relationship. I've gotten the impression that both Grant and Tom enjoy our times together. I certainly do.
I am also gaining insight into the process of coaching. Usually, I am the coach. But in the pool, I am coached by Tom. On Sunday afternoons, I am coached by Grant. While taking in as much as I can from these men regarding technique, the coaching part of me is observing the process. What about the relationship is effective in my learning to be a better swimmer?
Today, for example, we worked on the "flip turn". The flip turn is a somersault in the water at the wall to quickly reverse direction. I've worked on it over and over but not mastered it. I've been close to giving up, but this morning I nearly broke through and here is how it happened.
Over several sessions, the coach has worked with me and I just wasn't getting it. Try coordinating your legs, chin, shoulders, and arms, while exhaling. But today the coach -- out of wisdom or exasperation, I am not sure which -- changed course and had me work on doing a "hand-stand" instead. That, with some practice, I could do! It built confidence to master a new task. And, I am half-way to the flip!
In the pool, I don't hesitate to ask to set the agenda. There are times when I am wanting to work on a certain stroke or discipline. I've never had the coach say "no". I'll interview him about it, ask him to demonstrate, and then suggest that he watch me and see what I'm doing wrong. At the end of class, sometimes I'll ask him to give me an assignment.
But as the coachee, I don't want to always lead. My coach, by virtue of his training and expertise, knows more. I need to accept and weigh his counsel. I want to make sure that he knows that his counsel and feedback is always welcome. Though he knows and I know that every decision is still mine.
Another valuable element of the coaching relationship is positive feedback. When the coach is impressed with something -- and I know that he means it -- it is immensely encouraging.
I also benefit most when I know that the coach enjoys the relationship. I've gotten the impression that both Grant and Tom enjoy our times together. I certainly do.
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