I noted in an earlier blogpost that I am on a journey of disclosure. I am learning that there is real joy and pleasure in opening up to others about my journey out of same-sex attraction. It is a risk as you might imagine. But there has always been a reward. My relationship with the person that I have disclosed to has always deepened.
So this quotation from Maria Edgeworth captured my attention today:
“The human heart, at whatever age, opens to the heart that opens in return."
When I disclose, the hearer's heart opens in return.
There is one more thing that I have noticed. When my heart opens to others, it opens to God as well. The Spirit of God comes rushing in at that moment . . . I draw on His strength as I disclose the nature of my journey. He opens the heart of the listener, through whom I almost always receive grace.
I can say that I have experienced the opposite as well. I have closed my heart by holding on to anger, suspicion, and bitterness, then wondered what happened to the sense of God's presence that I used to have.
This might be the point of Jesus' teaching in Matthew 5: "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (v 23-24). God commands us to attend to the problem in our hearts with a brother before we pursue communion with Him. Maybe he won't share a heart with anger and discord.
May we strive for open hearts. With our fellow man and with God. And may we then experience the joy having others open their hearts before us.
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. 2 Corinthians 6:11
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Saturday, September 6, 2008
A Battle to Fight
I'm always keeping an eye open for the spirit of manhood and saw it last night at the ballpark. I went to a Minnesota Twins game and the opposing team hit a home run over the fence into the bleachers. The ball landed in some empty seats and two men went after it. For one of them, it meant jumping onto the row of seats (with arm rests), ribs first. The two grown men wrestled each other over the ball for about 30 seconds. When one of them came up with it, he held it up victoriously.
Then, egged on by the crowd, he threw it back into the outfield.
As John Eldgredge has said, men need a battle to fight. They will find one, even if it is over a $3 baseball.
Men do well to understand this about themselves. It is a spirit that God has put in them for a good purpose. Of course, like any gift from God, it can be misused. But it is meant to be used and we are to seek God's guidance over what battle He has chosen for us to fight. (Hint: It probably isn't over a baseball hit into the stands.)
So men, choose your battles wisely. But definitely battle. Don't bury this spirit that God has especially weaved into your nature. There are many worthy battles to fight. If you are a Christian, you are in the midst of a great spiritual battle. Don't be unaware or inattentive lest you suffer an unexpected blow.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness . . . Eph 6:12
Then, egged on by the crowd, he threw it back into the outfield.
As John Eldgredge has said, men need a battle to fight. They will find one, even if it is over a $3 baseball.
Men do well to understand this about themselves. It is a spirit that God has put in them for a good purpose. Of course, like any gift from God, it can be misused. But it is meant to be used and we are to seek God's guidance over what battle He has chosen for us to fight. (Hint: It probably isn't over a baseball hit into the stands.)
So men, choose your battles wisely. But definitely battle. Don't bury this spirit that God has especially weaved into your nature. There are many worthy battles to fight. If you are a Christian, you are in the midst of a great spiritual battle. Don't be unaware or inattentive lest you suffer an unexpected blow.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness . . . Eph 6:12
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Manhood at the University of Minnesota and the House of Commons
As I write this afternoon, I am at Wilson Library at the University looking out across the plaza. People walk, cycle, and "blade" to their next class or appointment. Like some others here at the library, I watch them between keystrokes and paragraphs.
I see students and faculty, visitors and administrators, men and women. Some of the men look like they might be athletes; others are clearly not athletes at all.
But what an error I would be making were I to “measure a man” by his physical appearance!
Two days ago I finished Amazing Grace, the biography of William Wilberforce. If you are unfamiliar with him, he led the fight in Parliament to abolish the slave trade. The man was a true warrior. Though he never wielded a sword or a pistol, he confronted the evil practice of rounding up Africans and shipping them to the West Indies to labor on a plantation. If they survived the trip, the slaves faced a life full of difficulties that are beyond my comprehension. Amid death threats and great opposition, Wilberforce and the abolitionists prevailed, though the political battle lasted decades.
The author provided a brief physical description of Wilberforce early in the book:
“Wilberforce was universally described as tiny and stood just over five feet tall with a child-sized torso. His chest was measured in later years at thirty-three inches.” (p. 43)
This “tiny” man was a spiritual and political giant who led the fight to secure the personal freedom of hundreds of thousands of slaves. I’ll say it again – what an error we make when we measure a man by what we see on the outside!
How, then, do we esteem the physical strength of a man? There is a certain glory to it, is there not? "The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair." (Proverbs 20:29) But what a fleeting glory it is! And how trivial in the sight of God! Recall what God said to Samuel when he was selecting a king:
“Do not look on his appearance or the height of his stature . . . For the Lord sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
Think about that, next time you overlook the plaza at a University.
His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor is his pleasure in the legs of a man. Psalm 147:10
I see students and faculty, visitors and administrators, men and women. Some of the men look like they might be athletes; others are clearly not athletes at all.
But what an error I would be making were I to “measure a man” by his physical appearance!
Two days ago I finished Amazing Grace, the biography of William Wilberforce. If you are unfamiliar with him, he led the fight in Parliament to abolish the slave trade. The man was a true warrior. Though he never wielded a sword or a pistol, he confronted the evil practice of rounding up Africans and shipping them to the West Indies to labor on a plantation. If they survived the trip, the slaves faced a life full of difficulties that are beyond my comprehension. Amid death threats and great opposition, Wilberforce and the abolitionists prevailed, though the political battle lasted decades.The author provided a brief physical description of Wilberforce early in the book:
“Wilberforce was universally described as tiny and stood just over five feet tall with a child-sized torso. His chest was measured in later years at thirty-three inches.” (p. 43)
This “tiny” man was a spiritual and political giant who led the fight to secure the personal freedom of hundreds of thousands of slaves. I’ll say it again – what an error we make when we measure a man by what we see on the outside!How, then, do we esteem the physical strength of a man? There is a certain glory to it, is there not? "The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair." (Proverbs 20:29) But what a fleeting glory it is! And how trivial in the sight of God! Recall what God said to Samuel when he was selecting a king:
“Do not look on his appearance or the height of his stature . . . For the Lord sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
Think about that, next time you overlook the plaza at a University.
His delight is not in the strength of the horse, nor is his pleasure in the legs of a man. Psalm 147:10
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Disclosure as Manliness
Thank God for the journeys that He leads us on. As a Christian, I am journeying toward a stronger relationship with God and knowledge of Him. I am on a masculine journey, seeking to be a man in every aspect of my life. I am striving to become a more effective leader of my household and a stronger influence on the men in my life. As a coach, I am studying to learn the best way to lead men into their full potential, past obstacles, into lives that are productive, satisfying and God-glorifying.
I am also on a journey of self-disclosure. In the past, I have been cautious and reluctant to disclose battling same-sex attraction. But in my role as a coach to men who are same-sex attracted, self-disclosure is part of the new territory. God has called me and it is time for boldness.
My coach, Stuart, led me to make the connection between manliness and self-disclosure during our last time together. This was really the first I had considered the idea and it has given me a lot to chew on.
A friend and I were talking not long ago about how we are standing on the shoulders of those who have gone on before us. As I write this, there is a Bible, written in English on t
he table to my right. A few centuries back an order of the Pope dictated that all Bibles be in Latin, preventing non-Latin speakers from reading and understanding the truths of God for themselves. One man, William Tyndale, the British reformer, defied the order. He translated the Bible into English, then published and distributed it. For this he was imprisoned and burned at the stake. But because of him and others like him, I am able to read the word of God and be changed by it.
I also stand on the shoulders of many who have spoken of "change" for men and women with same-sex attraction. What would have been the course of my life, were it not for the network of Exodus ministries that sprouted 30 years ago? More recently, the impact of People Can Change has led me into a greater experience of manhood to the extent that the sexual escapes from the past are now unthinkable.
The founders of Exodus and People Can Change publicly disclosed their struggles. I don't know what this has meant to them. But I do know that I have a freedom from sin, a masculine identity and a satisfying life that I wouldn't have were it not for their disclosure.
This is masculine strength and courage, is it not? Manliness is setting aside the desire for self-preservation and acting for the greater good. May God grant us manly strength so that the ones to come may stand on our shoulders.
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 1 John 3:16
I am also on a journey of self-disclosure. In the past, I have been cautious and reluctant to disclose battling same-sex attraction. But in my role as a coach to men who are same-sex attracted, self-disclosure is part of the new territory. God has called me and it is time for boldness.
My coach, Stuart, led me to make the connection between manliness and self-disclosure during our last time together. This was really the first I had considered the idea and it has given me a lot to chew on.
A friend and I were talking not long ago about how we are standing on the shoulders of those who have gone on before us. As I write this, there is a Bible, written in English on t
he table to my right. A few centuries back an order of the Pope dictated that all Bibles be in Latin, preventing non-Latin speakers from reading and understanding the truths of God for themselves. One man, William Tyndale, the British reformer, defied the order. He translated the Bible into English, then published and distributed it. For this he was imprisoned and burned at the stake. But because of him and others like him, I am able to read the word of God and be changed by it.I also stand on the shoulders of many who have spoken of "change" for men and women with same-sex attraction. What would have been the course of my life, were it not for the network of Exodus ministries that sprouted 30 years ago? More recently, the impact of People Can Change has led me into a greater experience of manhood to the extent that the sexual escapes from the past are now unthinkable.
The founders of Exodus and People Can Change publicly disclosed their struggles. I don't know what this has meant to them. But I do know that I have a freedom from sin, a masculine identity and a satisfying life that I wouldn't have were it not for their disclosure.
This is masculine strength and courage, is it not? Manliness is setting aside the desire for self-preservation and acting for the greater good. May God grant us manly strength so that the ones to come may stand on our shoulders.
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 1 John 3:16
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