I noted in an earlier blogpost that I am on a journey of disclosure. I am learning that there is real joy and pleasure in opening up to others about my journey out of same-sex attraction. It is a risk as you might imagine. But there has always been a reward. My relationship with the person that I have disclosed to has always deepened.
So this quotation from Maria Edgeworth captured my attention today:
“The human heart, at whatever age, opens to the heart that opens in return."
When I disclose, the hearer's heart opens in return.
There is one more thing that I have noticed. When my heart opens to others, it opens to God as well. The Spirit of God comes rushing in at that moment . . . I draw on His strength as I disclose the nature of my journey. He opens the heart of the listener, through whom I almost always receive grace.
I can say that I have experienced the opposite as well. I have closed my heart by holding on to anger, suspicion, and bitterness, then wondered what happened to the sense of God's presence that I used to have.
This might be the point of Jesus' teaching in Matthew 5: "So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (v 23-24). God commands us to attend to the problem in our hearts with a brother before we pursue communion with Him. Maybe he won't share a heart with anger and discord.
May we strive for open hearts. With our fellow man and with God. And may we then experience the joy having others open their hearts before us.
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. 2 Corinthians 6:11
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