Taking the first exit (Part 3)

The "Part 3" above probably tipped you off to the fact that this is third in a series. Part 1 is intended to explain the importance of having an "off-ramp" strategy when temptations for a sexual escape hit. Part 2 contains some suggestions to men who would like to develop such a strategy for themselves. This post is written to men who are coming alongside a man who is feeling the urge to act on an impulse.

To be asked to assist a man in overcoming an addictive pattern is nothing less than an honor. Asking you to help him in his time of need is an indication of great trust. He trusts that you will keep his difficulties confidential. He trusts that you will be a source of the encouragement and strength that he needs when he calls. He has opened himself up to you and admitted that he needs help. It is a significant role and you should be honored to have been asked.

The man who has called you is on the road to some sort of sexual escape. The escape he is contemplating will leave him with guilt and shame. And it will whet his appetite for more. Depending on his path, the escape could entangle him in a destructive relationship and even jeopardize his physical health. His spiritual health will be marred as well.

He has several needs when he calls. Do you know what they are?

Feel free to ask him in advance. I've found, however, that at this moment the man needs a mixture of these things: comfort, strength, connection to another person.

That's all. Sexual escapes provide counterfeit of each and leave a man wounded. You can provide something real and help him off the destructive highway that he is on.

Don't be concerned that you may not have the right words. You're not there to do counseling or to help him figure it out. Encourage. Listen. Come alongside. Help him through this rough patch so that he will make a good decision right now.

I hope that this is helpful, reader. God bless you as you help men persevere and grow. I'd love to hear how it goes as you come alongside a struggling man. Feel free to correspond with me or leave a comment.

What is desired in a man is steadfast love. Proverbs 19:22